Weekend Wishes 4/29/18


It is often said that we are the median sum of the 5 people that we associate with most. If they are successful, we are more likely to be as well. Because, we will model the behaviors that they demonstrate. Buy into the values that they espouse. And, commit to the path that they walk.

To be clear, the people who would be in your “Five” may very well be different depending on the subject at hand. For example someone who is very accomplished in business may not be a good fit for my “Religion Five”. And, someone who I rely on as a confidante for Fitness, might not be a good fit for my “Business 5” .

It should be noted that people will move in and out of your “Five” (if we are being purposeful about our associations) because, of our growth. Their growth. Or, a lack thereof by either party.

I have a friend who is by any measure my best friend. He knows all that there is to know about me. And yet, he still likes me. I know, go figure! But the point is this, a couple of years ago, I realized that he (while still being an amazing friend) had fallen out of my “Five” for business. He had ceased holding me accountable to my stated goals. And, when I fell short, he gave all the perfectly rational reasons why it was not my fault.

I believe that in order for someone to fill the role of a member of my “Fives” that they have to love me or, respect me enough to call BS when appropriate. To hold me to the standards that I expressed. And, to hold me accountable when I am falling short. My friend no longer fit that role. And, while I still love him like a brother, he is not someone that I seek counsel from in matters of my job. So, to that end, in my “Business Five” he was replaced by someone who could fulfill that role.

There is a man whom I had the privilege of working with for five or six years, who a couple of years ago, made the determination that in order for him to get to his next evolution in growth, had to add a billionaire into his “Five”. That year he added two. And today, he is well on his way. He now has a private plane, a second home in Cancun, and all the trappings of the truly successful. But, to get there, he had to leave the job that he loved (and by any measure was highly accomplished at), and, seek opportunity elsewhere.

This dynamic shift most likely would not have happened were it not for the adjustments that he purposefully made in his “Five”.

So my question for you is simple. Who is in your “Five”? Are they fulfilling the responsibilities of that role? Do they love you enough to hold you accountable? Or, are they the source that you rely on when you need an excuse for not succeeding.

And, it should be said that the people who are in our “Five” today. Or, move out of it tomorrow, most likely never realize the shift. Because, moving in and out of our “Five” doesn’t mean we love or respect them less. And, for that reason, the shifts are subtle. Someone, may leave our “Business Five” but remain in our “Personal Five”. Our relationships don’t end, they evolve. But when it comes to our “Fives” they must grow if growth is to be our destiny.

Be very diligent in building your “Five” and your life will change. Be casual about your “Five” and growth and change will not be in your future.

For those of you who are a part of my “Five” or Include me in your “Five” I humbly say thank you.

I am proud to be in relationship with you.



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